Harry Potter and the Grand Adventure.
by Pinto1
Summary: KK and I wrote this at two o'clock in the morning. We now realize what a tough job poor JK Rowling has.


A/N I don't own anybody, J.K. Rowling does. I bet she doesn't have as much   
problems with them as we did. Just let me warn you, Harry can be somewhat   
of a nincompoop when under someone else's authority. Maybe that is why all   
the characters are strangely OOC….  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
It is a bright sunny day on the Hogwarts grounds. As we look in now,   
Harry is outside, trying to get in touch with his mother nature side.  
  
"Who are you?" Harry hisses suddenly. "You don't look a thing like J. K.   
Rowling!"  
  
Harry is right. I am not J.K. Rowling. Too bad.  
  
"I am the almighty narrator of this story. Your life is mine to command."  
  
"Oh whatever." Harry snaps, going back to watch the butterflies fly among   
the flowers.  
  
However, a thought suddenly comes to him. "I'm bored." He says out loud,   
finally standing up. "I think I'll go for an adventure!"  
  
Because Harry is bored, he decides to go out for an adventure.  
  
"Baaahhh, didn't I just say that?" Harry asks, a little irritated.   
  
"Yes, but I have to repeat it because I am the almighty narrator of this   
story."  
  
So Harry walks on, mumbling to himself. It is not long before he finds   
himself at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It is here the adventure   
begins, with the single discovery of the feather.  
  
"What feather?" Harry asks, in a moment of panic.  
  
I repeat. The adventure began, with the single discovery of the very   
visible feather.  
  
"Oh." Harry remarks, picking up the gray feather. "This feather."  
  
"Yes. That feather."  
  
Harry rolls his eyes. "Original. ..aren't you?"  
  
"Better believe it. So anyway. On with the adventure. "  
  
Harry, having found the feather that would start the adventure, comes up   
with a very clever plan indeed.  
  
Harry brightens, "I'll go ask Hermione...she'll know… or one of the books   
will..?"  
  
That's right. Harry bounds off towards the castle, He will go ask Hermione   
about the gray feather.  
  
Harry bellows, running into the Gryffindor's common room, "HERMIONE!!"   
  
Because this story is suppose to be exciting, and I haven't used the word   
suddenly in a while, Harry suddenly turns around, only to find Hermione in   
the evil, never failing grasp of Crookshanks!  
  
"What?" Harry asks, very dismayed. "There is no way in Diagon Alley that   
THAT is Crookshanks," he yells, pointing at the short, plump wizard with long   
ginger hair holding Hermione.   
  
"That is Crookshanks and there is nothing you can do about it."  
  
"Crookshanks is a CAT, not a wizard," Harry says, putting his hands on his   
hips.  
  
"Hermione's life is at stake here..."  
  
"I'm just not going to be apart of this if it won't make sense." Harry   
mutters, turning around and throwing the feather to the ground.  
  
"So you think. Everyone knows that you do not mess with the almighty   
narrator of the story."  
  
"Is that a threat?" Harry asks, turning around.  
  
Suddenly, out of no where, Dudley appears on top of Harry, utterly   
confused but nevertheless, squishing Harry into the floor.  
  
"Do you believe me now? That is Crookshanks, and I am the almighty   
narrator of this story."  
  
"Annnnthin'," Harry manages to gasp out. "Just… geroff…"  
  
With a cloud of blue lightning, Dudley disappears to Privet Drive just in   
time to miss Crookshank's speech.  
  
"Guubbbuuhhh, Gooolldddllleee, Grrannnaa." Crookshanks begins evily.  
  
"Wait!" Harry says franticly. "I don't speak Gobbledegoop!"  
  
Harry does not speak Gobbledegoop. Neither does Hermione, for that   
matter. Neither do I for that matter.  
  
Suddenly, unnoticed by everyone until now, the random guy in the red cloak   
steps up. "I speak Gobbledegoop," he says matter-of-factly.   
  
"Well don't just stand there, start translating!"   
  
Crookshanks, slightly upset at the delay of his speech, begins again to   
speak in his native tongue, gobbledegoop, being translated by the random guy   
in the red cloak.  
  
"For years I have been in my cat form. Now as an animage, I come before   
you today to demand," he pauses for a dramatic moment. "To demand that   
you give me the feathers from the bird in which you found your feather."  
  
"Or?" Harry asks, in a very challenging mood.  
  
"Grabba Gradda." Crookshanks hisses.  
  
"Or else Herm-o-one dies," The red cloaked man hisses.  
  
"Her-my-oh-nee!" Hermione corrects, bouncing up and down due to her   
foot being asleep, in the deadly grasp of Crookshanks.  
  
Harry, feeling very brave, jumps up to accept the challenge.  
  
"No I don't." Harry interrupts, folding his arms. "I don't know what bird   
he's talking about. How am I suppose to get it?"  
  
"Because you do that type of thing when you are feeling brave. And if I   
haven't made it known yet, I *am* the almighty narrator of this story"  
  
Harry frowns sulkily, shuffling his feat towards Crookshanks. "But-"  
  
"Fine then."  
  
Suddenly, the brave and mighty trio jump into the commonroom to aid   
Harry, who is in dire need of help!  
  
"Fear not, Harry!"  
  
"Consider things taken care of."   
  
The voices of the Weasley twins reach the scene.  
  
"Oy! Stand back!" Lee Jordan demands, holding a very large pillow.  
  
Harry looks upon the scene, getting a tad bit annoyed. "Since when am I in   
dire need of help?"   
  
However, Harry's voice is unheard over the giant walloping noise as Lee   
brings down the giant pillow over Crookshanks' head.   
  
"Mrow!" the random guy in the red cloak translates for Crookshanks, as   
small white feathers fall around the busted pillow.  
  
"Grabb—"  
  
"You have found the feathers for my own feather pillow!" The red-cloaked   
guy announces. "For this I will always be grateful!" He looks around, a little   
embarrassed. "Or so the cat says."  
  
Crookshanks looks around, having turned back into a cat. Making sure his   
pillow bed is safe, he takes the time to thank the heroes by rubbing against   
Fred's leg with affection.  
  
"Wait a minute," Harry interrupts, as usual. "I'm suppose to be the hero of   
these stories!"  
  
"But you aren't my favorite character. These guys are."  
  
Before Harry can reply, Hermione looks around in horror. "My pillow! My   
favorite pillow!"  
  
Lee glances at the twins, who suddenly decide that the dorms is a good   
place to be. The brave, wonderful, almighty trio dart away, leaving Harry to   
clean up the spare feathers Crookshanks won't use.  
  
As for everyone else, they live happily ever after.  
  
"Happily ever after? Cleaning up feathers?" Harry narrows his eyes,   
folding his arms in an unhappy manner.  
  
"Think Dudley in a dementor robe."  
  
"….And we all live happily ever after."  
  



End file.
